Worst To Best: The Friday The 13th Films
Worst To Best: Friday The 13th Films
Friday The 13th movies typically are not “good movies”. How can they be? The formula ripped off from 1978’s Halloween to create the first F13 film (1980) has been remixed so many other times in not only Friday films but the plethora of imitators that followed it’s success that even as early as the mid 80’s there was little slasher ground left to cover. There are only so many ways a masked killer can stalk and murder teenagers at a Summer Camp. At least 50 of those ways were explored in the Sleep Away Camp franchise alone!
Friday The 13th popularized a sub-genre it now had to compete with. So the Friday the 13th films became Jason movies and later became gimmick Jason films (Jason v.s. Carrie, Jason In Space, Jason v.s. Freddy)
(Started at a summer camp. Ended up in outer-space)
This Halloween Season as AMC has 2 Friday the 13th marathons (first one starts Monday October 20th) please use my handy dandy Worst To Best Friday The 13h film guide to avoid the turkeys.
#12 FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 8: JASON TAKES MANHATTAN
Watch, Skip or Background Noise? Skip
Best Kill? They all sucked. I guess the boxer on the roof.
This was arguably the first of the gimmick Jason films (although some would argue the New Blood was Jason V.s. Carrie) and certainly the worst realized. Why call a movie Jason Takes Manhattan and then spend the majority of the film on a cruise ship with a bunch of kids on the way to New York.
And if you are going to set such a large chunk of your movie on a cruise ship at least make the inevitable kills on the ship gory and or memorable. JTM does none of these things. A de-fanged, directionless entry that throws everything and the kitchen sink in the plot (A Final Girl with a past connection to Jason? Hazardous waste used to de-age Jason? A Boxing Match with Jason on a roof? What is Kelly Hu doing in this film?
#11 Friday The 13th Part 5: A New Beginning
Watch, Skip or Background Noise? Skip
Best Kill? Tree Garot eye guy
A New Beginning began and ended in one movie so uh shout out to the producers for false advertising. This movie didn’t even have Jason as the killer. He appears in flashbacks and illusions. Red herring killers include Tommy Jarvis and well that’s pretty much it. Oh Gary Coleman's best friend from Different Strokes that got molested by Mr Carlton from WKRP in Cincinnati did appear and ran over not Jason with a tractor or some sort.
Despite the end of The Final Chapter which indeed did seem to suggest Tommy would become possessed by the evil of Jason and despite a bunch of build up the killer ended up not being he who slayed Jason but (drum roll) Some random ambulance driver? Weak. And oh yeah what an awful Final Girl.
#10 JASON GOES TO HELL: THE FINAL FRIDAY
Best Kill? Jason gets blown to bits.
Watch, Skip or Background Noise? Skip
(Ugg. Can I see Bachelor number 3?)
Ugg. They could have kept this mess. Sean Cunningham (part 1) returned to the franchise to produce this ill conceived mishmash of demonic possession, body swapping and magic daggers all elements not belonging in a Friday The 13th film. Jason is killed in the opening segment and spends the majority of the movie body hoping from one suspecting cast member to another.
#9 JASON X (2002)
Watch,Skip or Background Noise? Skip
Best Kill? Cryo-face salad!
Jason X was basically Jason In space. Producers seemingly exhausted all possible earthbound scenarios and blast Jason off into the far flung future to battle space soldiers and female terminator like robots.
It was actually better than it should have been thanks to a game cast. Still enough is enough!
#8 FREDDY V.S JASON (2003)
Watch,Skip or background noise? Perfect background for a Halloween party!
Best Kill: Fold up bed dead!
After years of false starts and various attempts to bring this epic battle to the big screen Jason Voorhees and Freddy Kruger would finally have it out in 2002’s Freddy v.s, Jason. For an action movie this offering from Hong Kong action director Ronny Yu really wasn’t too bad with some entertaining sequences and interesting visuals. As a Friday The 13th film however it lacked the creepy mood and claustrophobic atmosphere that made the earlier entries so effective.
Part of this movies problem for a f13 fan is it leans heavily on the side of Freddy who has wit and personality to spare which really contrasts to the silent juggernaut from Crystal lake we all know and love. It feels like a Freddy film that Jason is appearing in.
#7 JASON LIVES: FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 6 (1986)
Watch, Skip or Background noise? Background but surprisingly watchable!
Best Kill? Sheriff back bend
After a New Beginning single handily destroyed the formula that made these movies a hit to begin with Paramount wisely returned Jason to the Jason movies in Friday The 13th part 6. Jason Lives. This was the beginning of the zombie era of the Jason films and the first Friday the 13th movie to be a “Jason” movie. The film followed the monster not the victims and all the films following with the exception of the remake would put audiences in the place of the killer as opposed to the protagonist.
This is probably the lightest f13 film with the most amount of humor and for the most part it works. Following the dismal previous entry it couldn’t help but feel fresh.
#6 FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 7: THE NEW BLOOD (1988)
Watch, Skip or Background Noise? Watch!
Best Kill? Sleeping bag to the tree!
Friday 7 works because they finally decided to give Jason the unstoppable killer a real challenge in telekinetic final girl Tina. Yes its Jason V.S. Carrie. The film also works because of Carl Buchlers direction and makeup effects. All of Jason’s wounds from the previous installments are in full display here.
This also marks the debut of fan favorite Kane Hodder as Jason. He would go on and play Jason in the next 3 films.
Tina does really well against Jason for someone just coming onto her powers and despite the low budget her and Jason’s mind over matter fight to the death is better realized and more entertaining than Freddy and Jason’s CGI fest 15 years later.
#5 FRIDAY THE 13TH (REMAKE 2009)
Watch,Skip or Background Noise? Watch!
Best Kill? Machete Dock Girl!
The 2009 Friday the 13th remake was basically the first 4 Friday films from the 80’s condensed into one modernized version. Jason was again alive, not a zombie or an indestructible juggernaut a hunter a stalker silent and creepy operating not in space or in a Freddy Kruger movie but in Crystal lake where he belonged.
With some good atmosphere a few likeable characters and some disturbing creative kills (the kids on the boat were my favorite) the 2009 version did what good remakes should. It was reverent and true to the original and offered a few new takes/exclamations on what we have seen before.
#4 FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 3 (1983)
Watch,Skip or Background Noise? Watch!
Best Kill? Arrow through the chic's eye!
This was when the series took off. This was when Jason got his hockey mask and became Jason. With some good direction by returning director Steve Minor (Part 2) and an exciting climatic chase scene part 3 had energy to spare!
The film is also noted for and limited by some truly awful acting. The worst acting in the whole series frankly. Also viewing the originally released in 3d film in 2 d 30 years later can get a bit tiresome with random objects being pushed into the camera for seemingly no reason.
#3 FRIDAY THE 13TH PART 2 (1981)
Watch, Skip or Background Noise? Watch
Best Kill? Sex-a-Bob!
This movie has a lot going for it. The first appearance as Jason as the killer, a slightly better script and director than part one but what it has that no other Friday film has is Final Girl Ginny.
Amy Steele creates the most likeable, best acted most proactive and intelligent and resourceful final girl Crystal Lake has seen before or since. If some of the final girls that followed had had half her charisma Friday The 13th movies might have not turned into Jason films.
The only place the film suffers is defanged kills and its tendency to copy the first movie in both characterization and plot points. (Part ones practical joker Ned is replaced by part 2’s practical joker Ted). Tom Savini's absence is notable!
#2 FRIDAY THE 13TH (1980)
Watch,skip or background Noise? Watch
Best Kill? Kevin Bacon Necktie.
Not many film franchises can say that the first entry in the series is not the best but that is the case here. Friday The 13th is so formulaic and the formula was so specific and easily duplicated that later another director came along and simply did it better than the first.
Some would argue that even part 2 is a better movie than the original. My feelings are that Tom Savini’s effects and the mystery involved in part one give it a slight edge to part 2. That and the presence of Kevin Bacon!
Still watchable and scary after over 30 years the low production value and lack of budget add to the sense of isolation and hopelessness the movie was going for.
#1 FRIDAY THE 13TH THE FINAL CHAPTER (1984)
YES DAMNIT WATCH!
Best Kill? Jason get's a machete to the head via Feldman!
Friday the 13th The Final Chapter is the quintessential Friday The 13th Film. Taking everything that had gone before it and improving on it. With makeup FX master Tom Savini returning (he skipped parts 2 and 3) The Final Chapter boasts the most creative disturbing kills, a truly ruthless and scary Jason. And Corey Feldman.
The cast in this film is the most likable and well-rounded of any of the films with future stars Corey Feldman and Crispin Glover giving Jason some fresh interesting victims.
